Yakima Mom

All Things Mom

Untitled

There is no title for this post. It is too scattered, too random.

The neighbor “Boy” is playing his guitar in his garage. He’s 17. He thinks his future career is in music.

The chords-especially the long low ones- vibrate through my windows, nearly an acre away.

I don’t mind.

He is 17. His gorgeous blonde hair is dyed black. He has big dreams.

I have pictures of him when he is three or four, digging in the dirt with our boys. Cherry juice smeared across their faces.

Our oldest son is in New Orleans. He’s gone on an “Immersion;” a school-based service trip.

He’ll be gone all week. He leaves for University in just a few, short months.

Our daughter is on the couch, doing homework. She’s disappointed because I won’t take her driving right now.

She’s 15. She already drove 45 minutes today. I say I’m done for the day, I am relaxing now.

She says I can relax while she drives.

Ha.

I am feeling like I have missed something… that I’m not quite the parent that I believed I was.

I am not as good as I thought I was.

I’m sorry. I DID say this was pretty random.

This letting go is so hard.

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3 thoughts on “Untitled

  1. Pingback: Day 139 – Time to Say Thank you « Stopping the Wind

  2. Oh my goodness…I felt a little hole open and close in my heart when I read your line “I am feeling like I have missed something…”. Once I read a scrapbooker write about how she was so good at recording her children’s firsts, but had forgotten to record the lasts…it made my heart ache…
    Christina – I think you must be a wonderful mother. It’s the ones that care so much that have these doubts…if you didn’t care, if you hadn’t put your heart and soul into being a mom, it wouldn’t matter.

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